Lack of marital wellness or the existence of marital problems in our society is a very large issue. So many people are affected by it beyond just the couple itself. The most obvious group is any children of the marriage, but the truth is that entire industries have been formed to deal with the issue of marital problems.
The counseling industry has a whole segment to support troubled couples, the legal profession has an entire section to address marriage breakdown, the church industry has tried to stake its claim on marriage, then there is the wedding planning industry and the list goes on.
But what about the people, the lowly husband and wife, who have been caught in the crossfire of everyone, all the businesses agitating about marriage problems. When it comes right down to it, marital problems are real and they cause untold stress and damage. In an earlier article, we discussed our fight or flight stress response and if there anything in life that will test this response over and over again, it's marriage.
Married couples today are under fire. The divorce rate is so high that there is more disbelief if you stay together and love each other than if you separate. Children of divorce haven't been in the minority for a very long time.
A new trend that has been growing is the idea of fertility clinics. It used to be that these clinics help married couples to get pregnant, but nowadays, women figure on skipping the marriage step all together and go straight to fertility clinics because they assume there will be a divorce and custody battle and they won't take the risk of joint custody.
The pendulum has swung completely to the opposite end of the spectrum. We've gone all the way from arranged and forced marriages with women as property to abandoning the idea of marriage all together before we even try it. Yes, we'll take romantic relations and children, but we want those separately from marriage. It truly is a sad state of affairs because marriage still can be a beautiful thing.
But it takes guts to fight for marriage. If people had a better method to deal with stress, marriage problems wouldn't be so big. Marital wellness is a choice. We can fight all the time or we can choose to process challenges differently. Just like any wellness category, achieving and maintaining marital wellness takes some increased awareness and a new set of problem solving tools and skills.