Stress and Divorce:
There is Life After Divorce!
Stress and Divorce
Stress and divorce are such a huge problem that many wonder if life really goes on after divorce.
The lead up time is usually bad, otherwise there wouldn't need to
be a divorce; the "during" is horrible with all its unplanned
decision-making, legalities, costs and psychological warfare; and the
after is often one big void filled with nothing but stress and anxiety
and you try to navigate your new life.
However, stress and divorce don't have to be the new "couple" in
your life. There are many things you can do to get on with your life.
If you work hard to manage the stress and release all that
repressed emotion, not only can you be happy again, but you could even
be friends again with your former spouse.
So learn all you can about managing stress and divorce so you can begin taking back control of your health and your life today.
53 Ways to Manage Stress and Divorce.
- Approach life as an opportunity to start anew. Stress and divorce should not define your future.
- Re-evaluate your strengths and examine your weaknesses.
- Re-evaluate goals. Discard old ones & set new ones. Write goals down.
- Start thinking about your dreams again.
- Talk about what you're going through with someone you trust.
- Find a safe person to be an outlet for your emotions.
- Keep your routines intact, it makes coping easier.
- A familiar routine and stability provides comfort.
- Communicate openly with your kids.
- Ease the pressure of stress and divorce on your kids by talking openly with them.
- Repeatedly reassure kids that they are not responsible for the divorce.
- Don't hesitate to get guidance in how best to speak to your kids.
- Look after yourself. Make sure YOU stay high on your own priority list.
- Dedicate time for YOU to cry, reflect, or simply be alone.
- Take plenty of time to make life-altering decisions (moves, relationships, career-changes).
- Mental wellness AND physical wellness are key in combating stress after divorce.
- Exercise regularly to stay fit. Exercise will help use up all that extra cortisol you are producing.
- Give your immune system extra tools. Choose high quality supplements.
- Stay busy; keep yourself busy socially and intellectually.
- Be positive; don’t view divorce as failure. Focus on the positive.
- Choose to view the marriage as a learning experience.
- Choose to tackle the future instead of letting the future tackle you.
- When the timing feels right to you, it may be helpful to develop a new plan for your future.
- Create a plan that outlines your dreams & what action you can take to realize them. A great way to break the link between stress and divorce.
- Try primal therapy to let go of all the hurt and pain.
- Try EFT Therapy to begin accepting yourself again.
- Try laugh therapy to strengthen your immune system.
- Try exercise therapy to burn off all the extra cortizol your body is producing.
- Try art therapy (coloring mandalas, for example) to allow your heart to heal through self-expression.
- If you have no children, try pet therapy to deal with the loneliness.
- Reconnect with spiritual roots in a new, healthier and more adult way.
- Begin believing in yourself again.
- Begin trusting yourself again.
- Take a course in understanding personal boundaries (assertiveness).
- Put positive affirmation statements on your bathroom mirror and read them daily.
- Recognize that divorce is much like dealing with loss. Get grief counselling.
- Learn how to forgive your former partner – s/he can’t hurt you any longer unless you allow it. Stress from divorce doesn't have to control your whole life.
- Begin letting go of hate and anger – it will eat you alive.
- Start to set your own life in order as soon as possible. Routine helps manage stress.
- Start writing a journal. Put all the pain and hurt down on paper, and then have a ritual burning ceremony.
- Develop a written money management plan. Get help if you need it.
- Be wary of con artists who exploit vulnerable, lonely people.
- Watch for internet scams, especially. Do not send money or CC numbers to anyone online.
- Develop a plan for your spare time to keep yourself busy.
- Develop a communication plan for staying in touch with key people.
- Ensure you have your transportation in order.
- Start taking courses to occupy your mind.
- Do not engage in psychological warfare, you will do more damage to yourself in the long-run. This will only ensure that stress and divorce win control of your life.
- Do not bottle up your anger and hurt, find constructive ways to let it out.
- Take the high road, rather than the low road, in dealing with negativity from your former partner.
- If you have guilt, use EFT to release the guilt. Guilt is a very destructive emotion.
- Do not allow yourself to become a martyr. Use EFT to dispel these thoughts and feelings.
- Volunteer! Focusing on others’ needs increases good stress hormones like Dopamine and Oxytocin.
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