Do you suffer from serious repressed anger and other repressed emotions? Most people don't remember the first three years of their lives, and so they are not aware if those years were spent building up a store of repressed anger and other repressed emotions.
Dr. Gabor Maté is a medical doctor who works with drug/alcohol addicted patients in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. He is also the author of an excellent, bestselling book called, "When the Body Says No, The Costs of Hidden Stress" and several other books.
In his book, Dr Maté goes to great lengths to show the medical consequences of unchecked emotional stress and repressed anger. It seems that when we are born, our brains are not fully developed yet and so the environment, to which we are exposed in those first three to five years of life, has a huge impact on us, as the brain completes its development. What's really interesting is, according to Mate, the human being is one of the only animals in nature that is born without a fully developed brain; hence, the reason why we can't walk immediately after birth like most animals.
Given this fact, parents have to be extra careful, to ensure that the environment, to which a baby is exposed in those very early years, is not highly stressed and parents must also be very emotionally present during that period. If not, children develop a behavior pattern of repressing anger and other key emotions as a way of coping with early childhood trauma.
Many, who read this, would think Dr. Maté is speaking of parents who are addicts or who are abusive, but he is not. Of course, people with these dramatic problems, certainly do not make great parents, but unfortunately, Dr. Maté is not limiting this problem of repressed anger and emotion to these extreme examples.
Emotionally unavailable and highly stressed parents could simply be a family with two working parents. In other words, the stressful environment does not have to be extreme, in modern terms. The outcome of even a moderately stressed environment is that the child learns, very young, to repress emotion and bottle it all up inside.
On the surface, you might think this is just the way it is and kids need to toughen up, but it seems there is a consequence for highly stressed kids that occurs much later in life.
Dr. Gabor Maté's book primarily focuses on the links between repressed emotion and chronic disease. Stressed kids that make it to adulthood are far more likely to develop a serious chronic degenerative disease than children who grow up in low stress homes with emotionally available parents.
Many of us live in denial that we had troubled childhoods and so we deny, as adults, that we have problems that need to be addressed. We simply suffer the consequences and struggle along because there seems to be a social stigma attached to the idea of a rocky childhood. And yet, most of us had one.
It seems to me that a better solution would be for everyone to simply accept that life was stressful when we were young and that we all suffer from varying levels of repressed emotion.
In most cases, it's not a family's fault if both parents had to work or if a single parent must work. This was and is the socio-economic model of our North American society. Rather than try to find someone to blame, live in denial and be upset all the time, it seems wiser to just assume we all have repressed emotion that needs to be released and deal with it.
The only question that really remains, if you follow my logic, is how do you release that repressed anger and other repressed emotions and solve the problem of emotional stress, without spending a fortune on counseling, without developing any number of destructive coping habits and without popping endless antidepressants or other coping medications. Something must be done though, because living in denial and letting chronic disease take over has completely overwhelmed our medical systems in North America, not to mention destroying the "Happiness Index" in the western world.
The first step, in solving this massive problem, is acceptance, and the second step is to find a tool to use that is 'low to no cost' that can get the job done, effectively and efficiently.
Thankfully, one such tool does exist and it is very powerful. The best tool, I have ever found, for just this purpose is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). No other counseling tool is more suitable than EFT, in my opinion.
My best recommendation is don't let repressed anger and other repressed emotions, that developed when you were a baby/toddler, continue to take you down the path to chronic degenerative disease. Stop that process now by using EFT to release all that emotion and start taking back control of your health and your life today.
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