Have you ever thought about your parenting style? There seem to be so many styles out there. Understanding your style regarding parenting can make or break your ability to manage stress in your life as far as your children are concerned. Parental wellness is very important.
And I am not just speaking of whether or not you still have your children living under your roof or not. Your parental style as it concerns adult children can also be very destructive and this can create a nightmare not only in your own life but also in the life of your adult children and their families.
It's not enough to say that you have no control, because you do. You can choose how you parent. You can choose this when your children are young and you can choose this when your children are grown. It is never too late. And given that family and its dysfunctions are one of the biggest causes of stress in our world, it is more than worth it to investigate this situation as soon as possible.
All of the above styles of parenting produce a unique set of issues for the adult child to have to deal with once he or she leaves the home. The range of consequences stretches far and wide. Society is full of people who are experiencing the effects of one parenting style or another. One model that is particularly destructive is the possessive or over-protective parenting style.
This style may serve a useful purpose when the child is very
small but its negative points far outweigh its benefits at a very young
age. If this parenting style is not stopped in a timely fashion, it can
create lifelong problems for a child and his or her future family.
It becomes even worse when the parent is overly possessive and whose care for their children is self-centered and manipulative. These strong-willed parents expect their children and the future families of their adult children to conform to their values; they may be critical, interfering and nagging; they find it hard to give without expecting anything in return.
A parent with this style, typically, is possessive and domineering and keeps adult children under his or her thumb. Although these people are often strong, they are self-pitying and easily-offended. They may even feign illness to gain attention. Guilt is a very powerful weapon in these people's lives.
For example, the possessive parent may manifest 'heart pains' whenever an adult child tries to leave home; or the parent may manifest 'stomach tumors' if their adult son or daughter tries to get married. These people are often very talkative, opinionated and argumentative.
No matter what your parenting style, chances are it could use some attention. If you have children, it is likely you have a parental wellness challenge to solve. No matter how old our kids get, we always have work to do.