Parenting Style Can Be Good or Bad
Parental Wellness Needed In Society
What is your parenting style? Do you think you have one? There are so many out there. Understanding your style regarding parenting can make or break your ability to manage stress in your life as far as your children are concerned. Parental wellness is very important.And I am not just speaking of whether or not you still have your children living under your roof or not. Your parental style as it concerns adult children can also be very destructive and this can create a nightmare not only in your own life but also in the life of your adult children and their families. It's not enough to say that you have no control, because you do. You can choose how you parent. You can choose this when your children are young and you can choose this when your children are grown. It is never too late. And given that family and its dysfunctions are one of the biggest causes of stress in our world, it is more than worth it to investigate this situation as soon as possible. Some common examples of parental style are:
Borrowed from Wikipedia
Authoritative
Characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high expectations of maturity, compliance to parental rules and directions, while allowing for an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors between the parent and child. Authoritarian
Characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and directions, that does not allow for open dialogue between parent and child. Indulgent or Permissive
Characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child and is characterized by warm affect. "Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them. Neglectful
Neglectful parenting may also be known as nonconformist parenting. The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved in their child's life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Parents are unsupportive of their children, but will still provide basic needs for the child.
Very Destructive Parenting Styles
All of the above parenting styles produces its own unique set of issues for the adult child to have to deal with once he or she leaves the home. The range of consequences stretches far and wide. Society is full of people who are experiencing the effects of one parenting style or another. One model that is particularly destructive is the possessive or over-protective parenting style.This style may serve a useful purpose when the child is very small but its negative points far outweigh its benefits at a very young age. If this parenting style is not stopped in a timely fashion, it can create lifelong problems for a child and his or her future family.
Adapted from The 38 Bach Flower Essences
An Introduction and Guide to Flower Essences.
It becomes even worse when the parent is overly possessive and whose care for their children is self-centered and manipulative. These strong-willed parents expect their children and the future families of their adult children to conform to their values; they may be critical, interfering and nagging; they find it hard to give without expecting anything in return.
A parent with this style, typically, is possessive and domineering and keeps adult children under his or her thumb. Although these people are often strong, they are self-pitying and easily-offended. They may even feign illness to gain attention. Guilt is a very powerful weapon in these people's lives. For example, the possessive parent may manifest 'heart pains' whenever an adult child tries to leave home; or the parent may manifest 'stomach tumors' if their adult son or daughter tries to get married. These people are often very talkative, opinionated and argumentative. No matter what your parenting style, chances are it could use some attention. If you have children, it is likely you have a parental wellness challenge to solve. No matter how old our kids get, we always have work to do.
Return to Top of Parenting Style
|
